now we're cooking

Rayan has been interested in cooking simple things, so I've been helping him out with that. Right now I'm sticking with things he's initiating, so they've all been "convenience" foods - especially things that can be made using the microwave, since that's still kind of a novelty for him.

Since he hates to read, and doesn't really seem to even listen if I read directions to him, I've been trying to work with his natural process, which is (as we all know) very social. The first couple times I just make whatever he wants and ask if he wants to watch and/or hang out in the kitchen with me while I'm doing it. Since hanging out is one of his favorite activities, that works well . Next I'll ask if he wants to do it with me helping - if he's feeling confident he'll say yes, if not, I don't push.

Eventually, after walking through the whole process a couple times with me right there, a time will come when he wants a particular food and I'm in the middle of something else and he'll dive in on his own. He still hates to read! so if he forgets a step or needs a hand he asks me, and that's fine, I'll just tell him what he needs to know. Often he wants his math checked - if you want an indictment against public education, watching this kid trying to double a recipe is it! After a time or two of this kind of help, he's good to go! Tada!

This is the sort of thing that (I think) is working because I'm not holding on to any kind of expectations as to what he should be able to do. It would be really tempting to say "Dude! you know how to read! this isn't rocket science, its soup!" but I'm not going there. Its not important to me how he learns this stuff - or even that he learns it, really. Its more important that he builds up a sense of confidence in his own abilities. He's good at learning from interacting with other people. That's not true of everyone - me for example.

Hmmm. It occurs to me that I should find a way to talk with him about this - the whole learning style thing. I'm not sure he sees "learning from others" as a skill, at this point. Its just something he does, whereas school has told him (over and over) that he should be learning by reading and following directions. We've talked about the fact that he's an extrovert and George and I are introverts, but mostly in the sense of how-not-to-get-on-each-others-nerves. But the fact is Rayan is good at learning directly from other people, and I'm not, and that sometimes creates some confusion between us.

One place we're really noticing it is wrt computer games. He keeps wanting to tell me how to do things - he's trying to be friendly and helpful and this is how he learns, after all - and it drives me nuts because I want to try a few things out, consult the instructions and handy reference charts and only when all else fails ask someone. That's my process. Interesting to think of computer games as a way to discuss learning styles.

New projects in slow times

Since we can't go to the skatepark every day, and World of Warcraft isn't loading properly, Rayan has found another project (entirely independently, too). He has been rebuilding older bearings for his skateboard. Taking a page from George's book, he decided to pull apart all the bearings that weren't working anymore and salvage the useful parts. The result is several useable bearings rather than a pile of useless ones. And he's learning a lot about what a bearing is and how it works - at least this particular kind. He was somewhat nonplussed when I commented that there were different kinds, so the next time George needs to overhaul one of his powertools, I'll have to remind him to invite Rayan to come watch.

He brought out a few of the half-finished bearings (Rayan) to show me what he was doing. Its pretty deft work - lots of itty bitty bits. He seems to be really enjoying the process. Once the cash starts flowing again (ha!) we might need to look in to some more tools for him. Right now he's using a pocket-knife to disassemble the things.

In the mean-time, being broke an' all, we're spending more time at home than we might otherwise. I'm trying to think of it as "nesting" and working on making this nest appealing and accessible to two very different kids at once. TV is proving to be a valuble resource in this area. Ray loves to talk about things, so talking about tv shows, movies, commercials, is letting us have a way to connect and share information. He's also learning some things along the way, although I try not to stress that. Don't want to put him off, as it were!