now we're cooking

Rayan has been interested in cooking simple things, so I've been helping him out with that. Right now I'm sticking with things he's initiating, so they've all been "convenience" foods - especially things that can be made using the microwave, since that's still kind of a novelty for him.

Since he hates to read, and doesn't really seem to even listen if I read directions to him, I've been trying to work with his natural process, which is (as we all know) very social. The first couple times I just make whatever he wants and ask if he wants to watch and/or hang out in the kitchen with me while I'm doing it. Since hanging out is one of his favorite activities, that works well . Next I'll ask if he wants to do it with me helping - if he's feeling confident he'll say yes, if not, I don't push.

Eventually, after walking through the whole process a couple times with me right there, a time will come when he wants a particular food and I'm in the middle of something else and he'll dive in on his own. He still hates to read! so if he forgets a step or needs a hand he asks me, and that's fine, I'll just tell him what he needs to know. Often he wants his math checked - if you want an indictment against public education, watching this kid trying to double a recipe is it! After a time or two of this kind of help, he's good to go! Tada!

This is the sort of thing that (I think) is working because I'm not holding on to any kind of expectations as to what he should be able to do. It would be really tempting to say "Dude! you know how to read! this isn't rocket science, its soup!" but I'm not going there. Its not important to me how he learns this stuff - or even that he learns it, really. Its more important that he builds up a sense of confidence in his own abilities. He's good at learning from interacting with other people. That's not true of everyone - me for example.

Hmmm. It occurs to me that I should find a way to talk with him about this - the whole learning style thing. I'm not sure he sees "learning from others" as a skill, at this point. Its just something he does, whereas school has told him (over and over) that he should be learning by reading and following directions. We've talked about the fact that he's an extrovert and George and I are introverts, but mostly in the sense of how-not-to-get-on-each-others-nerves. But the fact is Rayan is good at learning directly from other people, and I'm not, and that sometimes creates some confusion between us.

One place we're really noticing it is wrt computer games. He keeps wanting to tell me how to do things - he's trying to be friendly and helpful and this is how he learns, after all - and it drives me nuts because I want to try a few things out, consult the instructions and handy reference charts and only when all else fails ask someone. That's my process. Interesting to think of computer games as a way to discuss learning styles.

New projects in slow times

Since we can't go to the skatepark every day, and World of Warcraft isn't loading properly, Rayan has found another project (entirely independently, too). He has been rebuilding older bearings for his skateboard. Taking a page from George's book, he decided to pull apart all the bearings that weren't working anymore and salvage the useful parts. The result is several useable bearings rather than a pile of useless ones. And he's learning a lot about what a bearing is and how it works - at least this particular kind. He was somewhat nonplussed when I commented that there were different kinds, so the next time George needs to overhaul one of his powertools, I'll have to remind him to invite Rayan to come watch.

He brought out a few of the half-finished bearings (Rayan) to show me what he was doing. Its pretty deft work - lots of itty bitty bits. He seems to be really enjoying the process. Once the cash starts flowing again (ha!) we might need to look in to some more tools for him. Right now he's using a pocket-knife to disassemble the things.

In the mean-time, being broke an' all, we're spending more time at home than we might otherwise. I'm trying to think of it as "nesting" and working on making this nest appealing and accessible to two very different kids at once. TV is proving to be a valuble resource in this area. Ray loves to talk about things, so talking about tv shows, movies, commercials, is letting us have a way to connect and share information. He's also learning some things along the way, although I try not to stress that. Don't want to put him off, as it were!

multiple intelligences

Rayan made an interesting comment the other day. Morgan asked him to draw a picture or an animal and while he was doing that, she kept "reminding" him of the various parts to include - eyes, ears, etc. He became frustrated and announced that he couldn't draw while she was talking. It got me thinking about Gardner's multiple intelligences and how they might apply to Rayan. Here's a link and a bit copied from the article in question that gives a basic summery of the different "intelligences":

http://www.newhorizons.org/strategies/mi/dickinson_mi.html


Verbal/Linguistic Intelligence
Involves reading, writing, speaking, and conversing in one's own or foreign languages. It may be exercised through reading interesting books, playing word board or card games, listening to recordings, using various kinds of computer technology, and participating in conversation and discussions.

Logical/Mathematical Intelligence
Involves number and computing skills, recognizing patterns and relationships, timeliness and order, and the ability to solve different kinds of problems through logic. It may be exercised through classifying and sequencing activities, playing number and logic games, and solving various kinds of puzzles.

Visual/Spatial Intelligence
Involves visual perception of the environment, the ability to create and manipulate mental images, and the orientation of the body in space. It may be developed through experiences in the graphic and plastic arts, sharpening observation skills, solving mazes and other spatial tasks, and exercises in imagery and active imagination.

Bodily/Kinesthetic Intelligence
Involves physical coordination and dexterity, using fine and gross motor skills, and expressing oneself or learning through physical activities. It may be exercised by playing with blocks and other construction materials, dancing, playing various active sports and games, participating in plays or make-believe, and using various kinds of manipulatives to solve problems or to learn.

Musical Intelligence
Involves understanding and expressing oneself through music and rhythmic movements or dance, or composing, playing, or conducting music. It may be exercised by listening to a variety of recordings, engaging in rhythmic games and activities, and singing, dancing, or playing various instruments.

Interpersonal Intelligence
Involves understanding how to communicate with and understand other people and how to work collaboratively. It may be exercised through cooperative games, group projects and discussions, multicultural books and materials, and dramatic activities or role-playing.

Intrapersonal Intelligence
Involves understanding one's inner world of emotions and thoughts, and growing in the ability to control them and work with them consciously. It may be exercised through participating in independent projects, reading illuminating books, journal-writing, imaginative activities and games, and finding quiet places for reflection.

Naturalist Intelligence
Involves understanding the natural world of plants and animals, noticing their characteristics, and categorizing them; it generally involves keen observation and the ability to classify other things as well. It may be exercised by exploring nature, making collections of objects, studying them, and grouping them.

The most obvious of Ray's "intelligences" is kinesthetic. I think we've all known that for a long time. It comes out in everything he does - from the speed at which he's learning to skate to the way he expresses himself emotionally.

I've always thought of him as very verbal, as well, but it was recently pointed out to me that verbal intelligence isn't the same as extroversion, so now I'm really starting to wonder about that. There's no doubt Ray's an extrovert - a challenge for a family of introverts to learn to live with! But now I'm not sure just how that relates to verbal intelligence. Confusing this issue is the fact that Ray has become very resistant to reading and writing, as a result of his school experiences. So I don't know, outside of conversation, if Ray has a facility with language or not. I'm certainly not going to push him wrt reading and writing! I'm convinced it will only make matters worse. He needs time to find his own reasons to read/write. He's happy to send and receive emails from friends and look things up on the internet, so its not as if he's not reading or writing, he's just using those skills for communication, for the most part. The extrovert again.

Something else I had confused with his extroversion was the whole idea of "Interpersonal Intelligence". I admit, it's something that has confused me for many years, that Ray is such a people person, but doesn't always seem to have people skills. I've been really grateful to my online friend Sandra for helping me tease this apart in my own mind. In one on one situations, Ray does well overall, but groups challenge him. He also has enormous difficulty understanding the motivations of adults or people with whom he has little in common. When those motivations can be explained clearly, he seems to grasp the ideas, though, so I've been working on that. Since he is such a people person, explaining things in terms of human relations seems to help him understand social norms and expectations. The challenge is clarity - lengthy or convoluted explanations overwhelm him.

That last bit: lengthy or convoluted explanations overwhelm him, is an important point to keep in mind. More fodder for the question of just how Verbal Ray really is. In reference to his comment to Morgan - I can't draw when you're talking - I can't help but wonder if processing language might be more difficult for Rayan than any of us have realized. Is it possible it takes so much of his attention just to listen that other kinds of processing are held in abeyance? Its something I've been thinking about.

Intrapersonal Intelligence is an area where Rayan often surprises me. He's frequently more aware of his inner processes than he lets on. He can't always describe them, but when he can, his insights into his own thoughts are impressive.

Visual, Naturalist, and Logical Intelligences? hard to say. These are, unfortunately, areas where his unhappiness with and resistance to all things school get in the way. Musical Intelligence I have no way of knowing - not being strong in that area, myself.

I'm continuing to research these ideas, so if anyone has good sources of information OR anecdotes about Rayan that can shed light in this area, please comment!

Look at this!

Ta da! This is Rayan's new thing - its called carving. So far I just have the one decent pic, but we have plans to go back to the skatepark in another couple days, so I should be able to try for more.

We've been working on getting to the skatepark 1-2 times a week, weather and gas money permitting. A little more than a month ago he could barely stay upright on the board going down a ramp, so its been really exciting to watch his progress. He's really learned alot. A couple weeks ago we spent a day making stencils so he could spray-paint his board, and not so incidentally his pants. Working with the spray paint gave him and George a chance to hang out and work together (hooray for male bonding), and the whole idea of making stencils was so new to him - you could almost see the lightbulbs going off. It was pretty cool. He also did a bunch of freehand spray-painting on a big box we've been saving for Morgan to make a playhouse and discovered his handwriting is way better in paint. We had a good laugh over that.

More than learning about skateboarding and spray-paint, Rayan's having a chance to learn about his own learning process. That's a good thing. School has made teaching and learning things to be avoided, but in the last weeks he's learned from other people and taught other people, without sullen begrudgement (is that a word?). He's learned that teaching isn't necessarily some kind of weird control game, but a way people share interests and help each other.

He has also been learning to think critically and make his own decisions. Yesterday, on the way home from the skatepark he talked a lot about safety gear. He decided, pretty much on his own, to start wear knee pads and wrist guards. A few good falls convinced him and a neighbor showing him how to put the knee pads on under his jeans helped - less "dorky looking". Now he's talking about needing to wear elbow pads. Not from falling but from watching other skaters fall. If we were making him wear the pads he'd probably take them off the moment we turned our backs, regardless of how much he hurt. You can still see the rebellion just under the surface, waiting for a chance to bubble up. We're trying not to give it a reason to surface.

I think we're off to a good start.

Now Enrolling

Well, here we are! Rayan's a homeschooler. Technically, he's enrolling in a private school - we are in the process of signing up with The Farm School @ Home Satellite Campus Program.

Our plans, at the moment, are to use an interest-based independent study program, similar to what we've been using with Morgan. I've been researching the subject pretty thoroughly over the past several years, and I feel confident that this approach will be just as beneficial to Rayan as it has been with Mo.

The tricky part, at this stage of the game, is that, since Rayan hasn't been living with us, we don't really know what all his interests are. Plus, since he had developed such an adversarial relationship with the school, he's not in the habit of self-motivating. That's pretty typical of schooled kids, though. The standard "remedy" is a process known as deschooling.

During the deschooling period it is widely recommended that the parents not attempt any "academic" work with the student. This allows the family to spend time reconnecting and learning how to live together as full-time homeschoolers. It also gives parents and kids a chance to explore "non academic" interests - especially important to an interest-based learning program.

It has been consistently shown, in a variety of educational environments, that students learn best when their interests are engaged. Schools and other academic programs attempt to do this by selecting materials and topics they hope are of interest to students. Interest based programs start from the interests themselves and teach students to develop the real-world skills they need to pursue those interests, most importantly the abilities to learn independently and self-motivate. These abilities, more than any others, will propel our young people into the adult world with confidence.

Once the initial, deschooling period is over, Rayan's work may continue to bear little resemblance to standard academics. This is typical of the type of program we intend to pursue, but it does make it difficult to record and measure "progress". The purpose of this blog, therefore, is to provide a place to record some of the ways that Rayan is learning and exploring.

In the few days that Rayan has been home from school we have enjoyed seeing him take the first steps in investing his energy in projects and developing goals and skills at his own initiative. This is very exciting to all of us and bodes well for the future.